Church – The Bride

01 Sep 2024

Church – The Bride

Passage Ephesians 5:31-32, Song of Songs 1:15

Speaker Ben Tanner

Series Church

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Passage: Ephesians 5:31-32

31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

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This transcript has been automatically generated, and therefore may not be 100% accurate.

And the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery. But I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

We have one verse from the Solomon's song of songs.

How beautiful you are, my darling. Oh, how beautiful your eyes are. Doves.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Symbols, shadows, parables. Sometimes this is about that. Flowers are about love, signatures are about promises.

Fireworks are about celebrations. Poppies are about war, and marriage is about the christian gospel. This mystery is profound, says Paul. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. So the wedding begins with the groom waiting at the front.

He has pursued his bride and won her, and now he just has to wait. And when she eventually comes in, the whole room stands and stares at her beauty, her immaculate dress, pure and white and spotless. She gets presented to him, and they declare that they have no other partners. They hold hands. They make promises to have and to hold, for better, for worse, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live.

They exchange rings, signs of the covenant promises they have just made. They sign their names and make their vows legal. Then, as the ceremony concludes, they walk back out again, united as one. Everything he has is hers, and everything she has is his. Everybody celebrates with a meal.

Later, they will express their physical union and share all of their possessions. She even takes on his name. Two have become one, and all this is about that. Jesus has made his people ready. His death for our sins has made, made us beautiful, pure, white, and spotless.

We are given to him and to nobody else. We make promises to each other. Never will I leave you or abandon you, says Jesus. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. And we reply to him, I will forsake all other gods as long as we both shall live.

There is an exchange of gifts. God gives us his spirit. There is a legal declaration. God says, we are righteous in sight, and we walk on, united as one. Everything he has, his love, his power, his goodness, becomes ours.

And everything we have, our sin, our shame, our past, becomes his. Everybody celebrates with a meal, bread and wine. We express our physical unity through baptism in water. We give him access to all our possessions. We even take on his name and his identity.

We become christians. Two have become one. This is about that.

I love that video. It's one that we show at the start of our marriage prep here at ast. And it says some really profound things, doesn't it? Some really beautiful things about Jesus relationship to us. How can our crimson sins be white?

Because Jesus, through his death and resurrection has said all that. I have my perfect track record. I give to you all that I am, I share with you. It's a picture that's really precious to me and I hope it's precious to you as well. I'm going to pray and then I'm going to ask you a question.

Heavenly Father, I pray that as we think about this passage that speaks of that beautiful picture, help us to see the church through your eyes. And father, help us therefore to see ourselves, those who are brilliant, spotless, pure and beautiful as part of your bride. Amen. That's a beautiful picture that we've just seen. Let me ask you a question.

What do you think of when I say the word church? Just for a second, just think. What do you think of if I say church? Or maybe let's bring it really, really close to home. If I say all Saints Totley, what do you think of?

Maybe the immediate thing that came to your mind was rotas and serving and doing coffee? I hope not. But maybe. Maybe it was thinking of services like this. Maybe it was thinking about the particular chair that you normally sit on, whether it's comfortable or not.

Sorry, we're working on that. Maybe it's thinking of singing and singing God's praise to one another. Maybe you think of the church more widely, of bishops and church of England and all that's going on there. Maybe you've got positive views of church. Maybe actually you've got quite negative views of church.

The idea of church brings to mind, well, all that's gone in the news over the last few months, all the squabbles and the arguments, the divisions. Maybe actually church is a bit of a triggering word for you because it brings up memories of hurt. Hurt that's been done by other christians, or perhaps even hurt that you have caused a to other christians. Over the next four weeks, we're going to be pausing to think about church. What is church?

And we're going to see a bunch of different images that are used in the scriptures about what church is, about how we should relate to her, about how Jesus relates to her, and about how therefore we relate to one another. Is church just a kind of annoying add on to the whole Jesus and me thing? Is it like that magazine that you get from the shop that you shopped at one time 20 years ago and they still send you stuff through. Is it that what I really want is Jesus? And now, well, I guess I'm stuck with church.

One person who would definitely disagree with that is this guy. He's going to pop up on the screen on the next slide there.

He'll pop up any moment maybe. And if he doesn't, I'll tell you his name anyway. I'll tell you his name is a dude called Cyprian. There he is. He is called Cyprian.

And he lived in the early church about 300 ad. And one of the things that he said was this. He said, you cannot or he cannot have God for his father who has not the church for his mother. Or to bring up today, you can't have God for your father if you don't have the church for your mother. Now that was a strong statement even then and we need to be slightly careful because it's not the bible.

But he's got a point he's making here that if we don't have a relationship with church, we can't actually claim a relationship with God. Now that might make you cringe, but the reason he said that is because of the passages that we're looking at today. Next slide. A passage says for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become flesh. This is a profound mystery.

But I'm talking about Christ. And I wonder how you finish that sentence in your mind. You probably know what it says, but what do you think of if you're like me, you go, but I'm talking about Christ and Bentana. I'm talking about Jesus and me because he died to give himself up for me. And there's a truth to that.

Please don't miss that wonderful and profound truth. But that's not what the passage says, is it? Passage says, but I'm talking about Christ. And next slide, the church. Christ and the church.

See Paul, he takes in our passage this phrase from Genesis right at the start of the Bible there, Adam and Eve get married. And Adam says for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. And he says right back then, right at the start, in this beautiful original marriage of humanity, God was laying a seed, pointing to what all of creation was about. God was putting this in place to say, look, the whole of creation is about me gathering a people as a bride, a people as a bride. Not a person but a people.

And that's why? We see, as we go through the Old Testament, we see again and again God talking about this nation of Israel as if they're a bride. He calls them a bride in places like Isaiah. We've heard from Isaiah already, or Jeremiah or Ezekiel or Hosea. A whole book basically devotes the idea of God's people as a bride.

And in the New Testament, the cross is the place that we see Jesus marrying his church as he dies for them. And of course, if we fast forward on, we get to the end of the Bible, the book of Revelation, which is described like a big marriage. And we'll see a lot more about that when Clare preaches for us in a couple of weeks time.

The theologian Jonathan Edwards, not the triple jumper, but the theologian, he said this. He said the whole world was created in order that the eternal son of God might obtain a spouse. This cosmos was created in order that Jesus may obtain the church. That's pretty huge, isn't it? So I don't know what you answered in your head when we asked you, what do you think about the church?

I don't know what you thought, but I do know that if I ask Jesus that, I know what his answer would be. It was there actually, in our second reading. It is from the book of song of songs, the one book in the Bible that's completely devoted to human love in order to show us how Christ sets his affection on us. So today, as Jesus looks at his church and we say, jesus, what do you think of your church? He declares, how beautiful you are, my darling.

Oh, how beautiful. Hey, Jesus, what do you think of when you think of church? How beautiful you are.

And that's true of church, but it's also true of, therefore, the individuals here. It might be that you're sitting here and you don't feel particularly beautiful. Do you know what? Jesus today looks at you and he says, how beautiful you are, my darling. You are beautiful.

But he looks at church and his heart swells with a deep and abiding affection at the very mention of church, at the prospect of dwelling with her in her company and with her people. He says at the end of that reading that her eyes are like doves. I'm told that doves are birds that mate for life. And so when they pair off, they pair off not just for life, but actually often beyond life. I'm told that when a dove's partner dies, that dove will often stand and protect them for quite some time afterwards.

And then every year, they will come back to that place where their partner dies. So strong is their love for one another.

Do you know what? Jesus looks at his church and he says, you are beautiful. Your eyes are like doves. There's never a time in which Christ doesn't love his church. There's never a time when he doesn't extend his whole heart.

Never a time when his heart's not captivated by his church.

And so I want to pause for a moment and say, if that's how Jesus feels about his church, let me ask you, is that how we feel about her? Is that how we treat her? Next week, we've got Rob, Rob Marsden arriving with us here at church. He's going to come and be part of the church family. And Rob, we pray, we're going to welcome him really, really, really well.

Now you may know because we put it in the weekly email, Rob comes with a family. Here they are on the screen. And he's got a wife, Fiona, two girls and a boy. Let's imagine for a second that we give Rob the most incredible welcome. Okay?

We are giving him gifts, we're chatting to him, we're making time for him. As he walks in here, he can't get to his seat because people are just talking to him throughout the week. We're dropping in, we're seeing him. And throughout all of that time, we're ignoring Fiona. She asks us a question, we give her a one word answer.

So, I'm sorry, Fiona, I'm not going to spend much time with you because actually, I've got more exciting things to do. Rob. Yeah, we'll give him a great welcome, Fiona. No, we know Rob wouldn't feel welcome. Wouldn't he?

Would he? If you're not welcoming us as a family, if you're not welcoming the person who I treasure above every other person and you don't have time for her, what does that say about your love for me? Rob might well say, are we in danger of saying Jesus? Yeah, I love you. Yeah, I'll take the Jesus stuff.

Well, up for that. But your bride, well, not all that keen on her. The one who you created this whole world in order to wed. I'm not actually all that keen on church, thank you very much. I'll have you, but I don't want her.

There are lots of ways in which we might do this. Sometimes it's the Jesus and me. I've got Jesus, I've got me. I don't really need church.

Sometimes it's almost the opposite. Sometimes what we do is we recognise that church means all christians everywhere, all through history. And so what we can then do is we can spread ourselves out really, really thinly. And we say, okay, because church is everyone everywhere. Therefore, what I'm going to do is I'm going to try and love everyone everywhere.

And I'm not actually going to devote my time to loving church where I am. Imagine for a second that I said, hey, do you know what? I am a big fan of the Tanner family. I love the Tanner family. They're great.

And in order to show you just how much I've loved them, I've done my family tree, and I found out that I've got all sorts of relatives all over the place. I've got a second cousin 14 times removed called Boris who lives in Bognor Regis. I don't really, but let's imagine I did. And I have gone to visit Boris one weekend and Chantelle the next and Olivia the next. And I've gone around the world and I am seeing them and I'm gathering them all together for a big, great party.

And I'm doing lots of great stuff. Getting to know the massive Tanner family. I love the Tanner family. And at the same time as that, you notice that Joey hasn't been picked up from school for the third day running. And you say, ben, you say you love the Tanner family.

Your son's stuck at school for hours on end because you forget to pick him up. I say, do you know what? My gifting's in the whole family. I've done the family tree. Look how much I love them.

And you say, no. The way that you love your family is you love the people who are right there.

Sometimes the way in which we say to Jesus, I'll take you, but I don't really want your church is we say, I'm going to pick and choose.

I've got a great big church here, and I'm going to focus on that. And I'll kind of take or leave what comes on a Sunday. Small group. Well, I might go to that, but actually I might just listen to some worship music on my own from somewhere else. They need serving.

Well, that's great, but to be honest, my gifts kind of lie somewhere else. Where do we say to Jesus, hey, I see that you set your affection on your church, but actually, I'm more interested in what I want to do. But it might be just as we come into close, it might be that there's a bit of a dissonance here. It may be that you kind of say, okay, I love Jesus, and I see his love for the church. But actually, church is a place of pain and difficulty for me.

I've been hurt in the past. I see really clearly the sin of other church members.

How on earth can God call them beautiful? Maybe we look at ourselves and go, how can God really call me beautiful? Set affection on me? Do you know I said that the whole Bible is full of this story of God pursuing a bride for his son. And in Hosea, he actually picks up on this dissonance a little bit.

He gets this guy Hosea, and he says, I want you to go out, and I want you as a prophet to go and marry somebody that you know will be unfaithful to you. Not somebody who might, but somebody who you know will be. And as you do that, that's going to show you the kind of wife that my people are to me. Yeah, we'll take Jesus, but actually we'll worship other people as well. And yet then this prophet is to go back and to pursue his wife once more.

And there's this beautiful passage that says, I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.

God knows that we're those who mess up and make a big mess, and yet he pursues us anyway. That promise, that betrothal, it happened at the cross, and that's the lens through which Jesus sees us at the cross. He sees us as beautiful because we are given his beauty. Did he see it in the passage, husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Verse 26.

To make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Jesus sees us today as holy and blameless because he sees us through the lens of what he has done on the cross. The very beauty that God has given to us one day is in a few weeks time, Claire is going to show us. We will see that in perfect splendour when we are with Jesus without sin anymore at that wedding feast. But now we see glimpses of it.

He's washing us with water through the wood. Week by week as we come to the Bible, we see that he's beginning to change us. He's beginning to make us more like him. The beauty of God is beginning to shine out in broken and little ways through us as a church family.

So we see it. And I've seen it this week. I saw it as I was chatting with an 80 year old who was also talking with one of our pre teens and asking them about what they thought of Jesus and how they felt about going to secondary school. I saw it this week as I was chatting to somebody who has a lot of decorating to do on their house and yet spent bank holiday Monday and four other days painting the church office. This week I saw it as I looked on my growth group, WhatsApp, and there was a family who don't have a cooker for a few weeks and within hours somebody was offering them, oh, you can use some stuff that we've got.

I've seen it in somebody who has been housebound for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. And as I sat with them, they wanted to ask me how I'm doing and pray for me. I've gone there to pray for them.

We see this beauty of goddess little ways and you say, ben, you've got a front row seat as a vicar. And in one sense I do. But you can have it too. The way that you're going to see the beauty of God in the local church is by throwing yourself into it. Move closer to people, ask them how they're doing.

Speak to people who are different to you, find out more about their lives and you will see the ways in which God is showing his beauty through them. You see, God is making the church beautiful.

And that means that the place in which God's beauty is most clearly seen in Topley is not the hills around us. It's not even just one or two of us being around. It's here. God has chosen the church to reflect his beauty. One writer put it like this.

God could have chosen to make his beauty known exclusively through the breathtaking landscapes and undulating oceans and sublime sunsets. Instead, he's decided to display his radiance in the heart of the crown of his creation, humanity. And as a result, he has chosen his people, his church, to reflect his glory to the world. The church is beautiful because God is beautiful.

The Bible says for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. It's a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. Let's pray together. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for your church. Thank you for the ways in which it shows us your beauty.

Help us to realise how beautiful we are, because you have given us Christ's right standing with you. But help us too, to become more and more beautiful as we come to your word, as we're washed in your word. Week by week by week, as you make us more like your son. So, Father, help us, therefore, to love your bride, even as your son does help us to practically love her, to care for one another, to move closer. And as we do so, open our eyes to see her beauty.

For I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.